Summertime Stillness

This summer, so far, has been the definition of lying on the floor and staring blankly at the ceiling for me. While I haven't actually had as much to do as I have in the past, I still feel as though I've gotten nothing done. I know why too, I just don't like it.

I know I've said this before, but I had all these big plans for this 2025 summer. I was going to write a quick little novella, do a challenge to better my work/life balance, get myself in better shape, and have fun with friends. I was going to do things; write something, edit it, publish it on Itch. io and actually do some fucking marketing like I'm supposed to be doing. Instead, that's not what happened at all. I've been sitting here killing my wrist crocheting because it's one of the few activities that make me feel better, and that I actually want to do right now. I've been playing Palia, watching K-pop Demon Hunters content, and even staring into space while listening to music.

It's been hard to motivate myself to do any writing; because of my loss, because of my burn out, and because the every day the state of the world makes it feel like what I do is worthless. This has definitely led to me spiraling a little bit around the thought that I'm spending all of this time and energy on writing my stories, and I'll be unable to share them with people, or worse that I'll be arrested for writing them at all. I'm terrified that this world is where my kid is growing up, where any kids are growing up, that this is becoming so normalized that people aren't seeing it for what it actually is. They're merely telling themselves that there's nothing that they can do and accepting what's being done. I don't want to be one of those people. I NEVER want to be one of those people.

But I'm tired, and I'm terrified. The side of me that's ready to fight is raring to burn the bible as a fuck you to the Christian Nationalists who keep fucking over everyone else with their pushy, patronizing, holier-than-thou ways, but the rest of me knows better. Knows that doing that won't stop them from coming after anything and everything they don't like. If they're too blind to see how attacking others the way they are is actually AGAINST what their precious bible says to do, that they're worshiping a false God by putting all of their trust and faith in the Tangerine Tyrant, and that they will eventually create a world that will crush them too, there's no way they could possibly learn from turning their own actions against them.

All of this has gotten me stressed out enough that I've been having more PCS (Precordial Catch Syndrome) attacks and that's just made me even MORE tired. It's an endless cycle of 'damned if you do, and damned if you don't' that I'm just caught in the middle of like it's a god damn whirlpool. Because of this, I've decided to take a little break from the usual hardcore writing that I have been doing. No more 2k-5k word days, just for now.

I know that some of you are probably really curious about what I've been working on recently and what my plans are going forward, especially in this current climate. Well, I spent all of spring working on Krampus, and it's now been sent to Beta readers until the end of September, so I've been trying to focus myself on other things. I started by writing a bit of Drowning Out of Water. I have since put that story off to the side, not because I don't love it, but because my brain got distracted. By what? Labyrinth, But Gay! if you've ever watched the 1986 movie Labyrinth, you know it is quirky, weird, dark without being too dark, and oh so gay through vibes alone. So, awhile ago my brain woke up one night frothing at the mouth at the idea of taking this masterpiece and making it my own. And here was born Labyrinth, But Gay.

This story is gritty and dark, with a list of trigger warnings that falls well within my usual. Do my main characters have trauma? Oh yeah! Are there going to be loveable side characters that have just enough snark to make them funny, but enough heart to make you feel for them? Yes! Whill there be a steamy, magical romance that will include an exploration of the characters sexual desires and emotional needs, all cullminating in a Happily Ever After? YES! I'm exicted to start writing it, but for now I'm just outlining it and taking my time to make sure I like how it works out and get to know the characters before I even write Chatper 1.

Before I go, I do want to say that I'm looking into possibly selling e-books here on my website. I only have one book published right now, and this wouldn't be in the super near future, but I'm debating on switching over to that option in January, and putting up the first season (Episodes 1-12) of To Kill Me Kindly, which is currently only available on my Patreon. This way, a month after the last episode of the season is available, you can purchase an e-book version of it for a lower price than the amount you would pay on my Patreon. Of course, if you don't want to wait for these end of season e-books, you can simply join my Patreon and get each Episode the month it's posted throughout the year, so there's options.

Whelp, that's all I have for now. Thanks for stopping by and reading! Check back in a month from now to see if I actually become consistent, or if I drop the ball again. Stay safe, and fight back!